The 10 Days of Paramore – Conspiracy
Day Six
There’s this book I almost finished reading a while back which said something to the effect that the ability to change the world lies in the power of our thoughts. I remember thinking to myself, well if that’s true, it’s quite possible that the 100 lb, 4’10 wonder I see in the mirror everyday may be one of the the most powerful people in the world. Honestly, I really don’t know anyone that thinks as much as I do. Obviously, my efforts to harness this power, and use it for the greater good, up to this point have been a massive fail, so i’ll probably have to accept the fact that i’ll never get around to changing the world. But I’d settle for changing mine.
Its hard to describe, but there was a brief moment when I was a kid when I felt invincible. I would race my sister fearlessly down slopes with tucked poles and parallel skis. I babbled on to anyone and everyone without a care or insecurity in the world to wonder if i was even being interesting. I wanted to ride every roller coaster, regardless if I was tall enough to meet the minimum height requirement. I once ran up the side of the Sydney Opera House and perched myself on a ledge just because I was bored and wanted a better view of the harbour. Bottom line is that once upon a time, I didn’t give a shit. I went through life ignoring my own mortality and thinking the only opinion that matter was my own. Some days I feel like I’m getting that back, but lately its been a one step forward, two steps back kind of process. I’ve been somewhat unfocused the last few months, getting caught up in life’s distractions, but I realize now that getting back to that state of fearlessness has become my first priority. The sun is rising now, and with it, a renewed sense of hope that my world is already changing, just simply knowing that I have this something to strive towards now.
“The night is darkest just before the dawn, and I promise you the dawn is coming.” – The Dark Knight
The 10 Days of Paramore – Oh Star
Day Five
So I am a pretty superstitious person. (ooo…that sounds conceited, correction: pretty as in very). Avoid black cats and walking under ladders. God help the person, other than the Chinese takeout guy, that touches my fortune cookie. I extend this same irrational belief and zeal to wishes. We’re talking eyelashes, seeing a digital clock turn 11:14, making a wish before I blow out the candles on my birthday cake (oops i didn’t do that this year). Hmm, oh and every year I lose about $10 in change to fountains. A small price to pay in comparison to the last night’s ritual, when I woke up super early to watch one of the three biggest annual meteor showers, the Leonids (the Perseids are in August, next one is the Geminids in December..ahem nerd alert).
Super tired and drastically underdressed, I only stayed awake long enough to catch a glimpse of two meteors. Now counting the latest two, I’ve seen over 50 shooting stars. I know a few people who have never seen one, but I can tell you even after seeing 50, I still ooo and awe, like its the first time. Something weird happened last night though…for the life of me, I could not think of anything to wish for. I’d like to say that the reason why I did not know what to wish for was because my life is so rich and fulfilling that a wish would’ve been unnecessary, but haha that wouldn’t be the truth. Wishing on a shooting star, to me, is nothing like throwing a penny in a fountain. Those wishes have to as equally extraordinary and special as the shooting star itself. Let me clarify that the kind of things I wish for are not so much of the “I-hope-I-win-the-lottery” variety. They are more like little things I hope for my life or for myself. But last night, I guess I just choked. I guess that’s why I like today’s Paramore song. To me, it’s a reminder about dangers of indecision and not knowing what you want.
If My Life Had a Soundtrack 