Anti-Hero – Taylor Swift
I was talking to a friend on Saturday, and it turns out we both think that the movie Joe Versus the Volcano is one of the most underrated movies. Some spoiler alerts – so there is an awesome scene for anyone who has ever worked in an office under terrible, soul-sucking, fluorescent lights. There is another scene where Tom Hanks’ character plays the ukulele, which was probably just one of the handful of reasons I wanted to learn to play. Then, there is also this great scene where he asks the limo driver where he should go shopping for clothes, to which the driver takes umbrage, and pulls over the limo. Proceeds to explain how clothes make the man, and how he can’t tell him what clothes to buy, because that would be like him telling Joe who he is, and it has taken the limo driver his whole life just to find out who he was, and he’s tired.
So I’m tired too, but I do think I am closer than I have ever been to really knowing who I am. Problem is, I kind of suck. What’s that line from another great movie? “You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” Turns out I am not a good person. At least I haven’t been for the past month? Year? Years? The good news is that those who are self-aware always have the chance to turn things around, but still. It is never an easy day when you have to take stock of your life and realize all the wrong choices you have made along the way that have transformed you into the villain of your own story. That was how I woke up this weekend, suddenly recognizing that I have been following all the wrong signs and lost my sense of truth north. The past year has felt like a series of one-step forwards, and ten steps back. It is seriously getting old. Anyways, I was talking to someone else earlier today about how we are both in crisis mode, and she reminded me that one of the things we should be grateful for is the support system we have. When we lose sight of ourselves, true friends and family are sometimes the mirrors we need, reminding us of the best versions of ourselves we could be. Thank God I have those people, but man, it must really be exhausting for them sometimes to be in my corner and root for me as I repeat the same mistakes.
“It’s me, hi. I’m the problem, it’s me. At tea time, everybody agrees. I’ll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.”
If My Life Had a Soundtrack 